January 2012
7 posts
24 January 2012
With my cousins, here’s wishing you and the readers who still follow this tumblr a very happy Chinese new year.
Love, Ruby
How do you go on living when your heart has been cut out not just once, but twice? Yet here I am, still alive, still breathing.
For the moment.
Someone on my Facebook commented, “Dont understand how boys can be prostitutes…o.o” to this heart-wrenching video. I have never seen anyone so ignorant and stupid, it disgusts me. I have since removed her from my account.
Not that I’m being all holier-than-thou or overly judgmental etc. but in all honesty, I have always wanted to do something concerning world-wide issues...
“Dearest Ruby,
As you remember the love,
as you mourn the loss,
may you also...”
– Came across this card which they gave me more than two years ago while I was cleaning out my room. It still brings me warmth each time I read it.
Personal Heroes.
My granny was a fighter, and so were you.
I will always be proud of the both of you.
December 2011
9 posts
January 1, 2012
Dear Bianca,
A happy twenty-twelve to you, wherever you’re at. I’m doing better these days, becoming very much a homey person. Spent New Year’s Eve at my relatives’ place instead of partying it up elsewhere with the crowds like I would do years ago. A good choice, I would say.
I quit my job so I am now terrified for the days and months to come. It scares me so much, and I...
24 December 2011, Christmas Eve
My granny passed away this morning. She never made it back out of the ICU.
I am in a bad state of mind, heart, and soul right now.
I don’t know if I should grab the doctors by the collar, demanding them to be the miracle workers they’re not, or, kiss her on the forehead and tell her goodbye.
Please watch over my granny, will you?
The Bianca Story - Coming Home
So apt, in many...
“I can feel her breath
As she’s sleeping next to me
Sharing pillows and...”
– A Rocket To The Moon, Like We Used To
Oh and I forgot to tell you, we had dinner with your mom and Jim at Margaritas and they adore him. Jim was (surprisingly) nice. He’s been very family-oriented ever since but it still surprises me to see the change it him. It’s definitely a good change though.
And I hope you did take a look at your nephew. He’s beautiful. I receive constant updates on his growing up through your...
November 2011
6 posts
Currently dehydrating in bed, the tears won’t seem to stop.
“We all die someday,” she says in a voice barely louder than a whisper. “I have woken up to that reality everyday.”
“You’ve got to let go of who you were, to become who you will be.”
– Janet Fitch
Sometimes, I think I need to step back and assess the purpose of my existence. Life is short and time is fleeting; and for that reason, I want to be sure I am living purposefully.
HAIR PHOTO UPDATE.
One Day.
Ian (Rafe Spall): She made you decent, and in return you made her so happy, so happy, and I will always be grateful to you for that.
October 2011
9 posts
Miami
Listen
Listen
“Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and...”
– Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle
You don’t get to do that. To walk into someone’s...
Ne m’oubliez pas.
So little time. We have so little time on this earth with the people we love.
3:01am, Tuesday.
Dearest Bianca,
At sometime after 4pm on Monday, my infamous out-of-bed-out-of-sex hair was brutally hacked off and I once again resemble a (very ugly) boy. I will be flying off to Miami, yes Miami! coming Thursday for something that required my hair to be meticulously butchered (oh the oxymoron!) for five hours. Will be back in a week, and might post pictures if I look anywhere presentable, and...
There’s one thing I want to say, so...
Life is for living, she realises － but it always...
September 2011
8 posts
Listen
I miss you who smell of fresh laundry and warm...
I am so ill right now, it’s terrifying. Please watch over me and let me get better real soon. It hurts so much, my body is in so much pain that even the painkillers the hospital prescribed doesn’t ease it.
When I get better, I am going to hunt down the doctor and give him an honest piece of my mind. Either he switches profession to a deskbound office job or he needs to start medical...
20 September 2011
Dear Bianca,
Sometimes I wonder if you’re dancing in the warm sunshine, or under a light drizzle, cheering us on as we trudged through life’s pathway like little soldiers in battle. And then sometimes, I wonder where do you go when the heavy rain comes and the cold wind blows.
Goodnight, dear Starshine.
waldosia
n. [Brit. wallesia] a condition characterized by scanning faces in a crowd looking for a specific person who would have no reason to be there, which is your brain’s way of checking to see whether they’re still in your life, subconsciously patting its emotional pockets before it leaves for the day.
Every day I become more grateful for him.
Perhaps it is true after all, in which I was once told on Formspring, that you are sending someone to look after me and it would take a while for the message to reach.
We’ll be meeting your mom and Jim for a nice Mexican dinner at Margarita’s when they come back from Hawaii. It’ll be a laugh watching Jim grill him with questions,...
August 2011
13 posts
Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person; wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances, for the person who makes you smile like no one else and...
Please watch over me, please do not let my heart break.
I now find myself to be quite sarcastic, and I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t get that.
You know, I wouldn't say that I'm really a sexual...
Dear Bianca,
Right now, it seems like there is someone who is willing, who is brave enough, to take a plunge, a gamble to tear down the walls I have built around myself once more and enter my life.
I am thankful but extremely terrified. I admit that I am left scarred from losing you, and I don’t think I can ever go through a third time of losing someone in any way. I am afraid to start...
Cried too many tears, can't cry anymore.
Dear Bianca,
Happy Birthday.
Love, Ruby.
Dear Reader,
Do I have to kill myself, just to...
Neil Gaiman — Fragile Things (October in the...
November: I like your stories. Mine are always too dark.
October: I don't think so. It's just that your nights are longer. And you aren't as warm.
November: Put it like that, and I feel better. I suppose we can't help who we are.
“There is nothing in all the world that can give me more pain than I have already...”
– Bran Stoker, Dracula